Old Monk by Mary Lou Kownacki

Journal Entry 202

Mon, 2019-02-04 16:06

What is forgiveness? Rabbi Rami Shapiro writes that forgiveness is not forgetting, excusing, accepting, denying, or numbing yourself to pain. What is it then? Forgiveness is letting go, not clinging to memories and feelings of pain that you caused others or others did unto you. That’s a definition worth memorizing and living.

Journal Entry 201

Fri, 2019-01-25 12:21

Mary Oliver is dead. I can’t believe how sad I am knowing her work is finished. I’ll never get another email from my friend Mary H saying, “Hey, Lou, do you know a new Mary Oliver book is coming out next month?” I had the good fortune of hearing her read in Cleveland once and consider that a top ten highlight of my life. She was a mirror of her words—simple, unassuming, humble, holy. Definitely at home in solitude. And playful. And able to make you lust for her wonder and amazement.

Journal Entry 200

Tue, 2019-01-15 13:06

I only made one new year’s resolution this year. It came after reading Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s commentary on God’s call to Abraham to “go forth (lech lecha) from your land, your nation, from your parents’ house and go to the land I will show you.” (Gen. 12:1). Shapiro writes that a more accurate translation of “lech lecha,” is “walk toward yourself” rather than “go forth.”

All these years, I thought God was calling Abraham to start a new nation, and here God is telling him to take a more difficult trip, one that each of us has to trek.

Journal Entry 199

Tue, 2019-01-01 11:47

Someone told me once that whatever you do on New Year’s Day, you’ll do the rest of the year. I don’t even believe it, but I prepare as if it were part of the Creed. So, on the Eve I made a list of what I want to do in 2019 in hope that this will be the perfect year.

Journal Entry 198

Sun, 2018-12-23 13:03

It’s almost Christmas and I’m enjoying the nativity scriptures because I am mostly in the company of women. Today’s gospel was the Visitation and so I got to spend a good part of the day with Elizabeth and Mary, two women “filled with the Holy Spirit.”

I’ve always had a solid devotion to Mary and it intensifies when I travel the Advent road toward Bethlehem. What draws me to Mary?

A few years back I wrote a prayer that traces her life and its challenge to me. Please accept this as my Christmas gift to you.

Journal Entry 197

Mon, 2018-12-10 22:00

I found an Advent poem to memorize. All Advent we pray, O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” and, if my prayers are answered, this is the Jesus that I want to be born in me.

“Once a young woman said to me,
“Hafiz, what is the sign?
of someone who knows God?”

I became very quiet,
and looked deep into her eyes,
then replied,

“My dear, they have dropped the knife.
Someone who knows God has dropped
the cruel knife

Journal Entry 196

Fri, 2018-11-23 19:43

Some thoughts on gratitude.

Journal Entry 195

Fri, 2018-11-09 10:01

“I believe in empathy,” is how Azar Nafisi begins her essay in the book, This I Believe. She also believes that we can grow in empathy by reading good literature—stories that teach us more about ourselves and others.